


Dark Side Of The Moon

by joufancyhuh



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, christian ideology, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-10
Updated: 2017-12-10
Packaged: 2019-02-12 22:40:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12969942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joufancyhuh/pseuds/joufancyhuh
Summary: And if the dam breaks open many years too soonAnd if there is no room upon the hillAnd if your head explodes with dark forebodings tooI'll see you on the dark side of the moon





	Dark Side Of The Moon

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RedHeadedCommander](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedHeadedCommander/gifts).



> Happy Holidays! Special thanks to my betas, [BardofHeartDive](http://archiveofourown.org/users/bardofheartdive), [GoddessTiera](http://archiveofourown.org/users/GoddessTiera), and [AlyssAlenko](http://archiveofourown.org/users/alyssalenko)
> 
> This fic in no way represents my personal beliefs.

Shepard blinks, like waking from a long nap.

She walks into Anderson’s office, shoulders squared as she enters through the door. Heads turn, her Captain’s and her second’s, looking up from their conversation to salute her entrance. She fires away one of her own before Anderson tells her “At ease, soldier.” But she keeps her shoulders squared, and she appraises the man beside her, slightly taller with dark eyes and a presence that commands attention. She knows him from the dossier, from biotic history. She stands by a legend, a beacon for biotics, and by her mentor, the one who inspired her to enlist. 

Everything about serving on the Normandy shrieks of greatness. 

“It’s about time the two of you met,” Anderson says. “We ship out in a week, and the crew needs a united front from leadership. I think you both know what this assignment means to your careers.” 

“Yes, sir,” she and the Lieutenant reply in unison. They exchange a glance before turning their attention back to the Captain. 

Anderson chuckles. “Go grab a beer, talk. Strategize. You can put it on my tab.” 

The Lieutenant nods, comfortable with how Anderson runs his crew since they worked together on the previous ship assignment. Shepard knows she can learn a lot from him, from them both, and a beer sounds nice after a day at the range. 

Shepard followed her second down to a bar around the corner. Their shoulders brush as they squeeze through the small door opening, static build-up crackles between them, causing them both to reel back in pain. They both rub the spot where their shoulders connected, grinning sheepishly as they rush to apologize, cutting each other off, stammering to go first.

Finally, Shepard cuts in. “That happens sometimes with other biotics. And considering you’re such a powerful biotic yourself, I’m surprised it didn’t happen sooner.” 

He blushes, hand traveling from his shoulder to the back of his neck. “You’re pretty powerful yourself. I’ve seen your stats. It’ll be a pleasure to serve under your command, Ma’am.”

They take a seat at the bar and Shepard orders herself a pint before turning to him. “We’re not exactly here on official business. Feel free to call me by my first name. Ma’am makes me sound old.” 

He takes a long sip of his lager, trying to hide a smile that is all too easy to spot. “Yes, Ma’am. I mean, Dakota.” 

“Can I call you Kaidan, or would you prefer Alenko or Lieutenant?”  

“Whichever you prefer, Ma...Dakota.” 

Shepard’s head swims of déjà vu as she covers her smile in the palm of her hand, the conversation and bar so familiar that her heart aches despite the hilt of laughter in her heart. Something claws at the back of her mind, something that tells her this is fake. But the man’s smile and her grip on the condensating glass of beer, the beads of water pooling on her skin strike her as a very real thing, and it grounds her in the moment. 

* * *

Kaidan’s brown eyes connect with hers as she enters the mess, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. He scoots over on the bench he occupies and pats the now-empty spot next to him at the table. She slides in with her tray of rations, moving left until she’s secure in her seat, thigh touching the Lieutenant’s under the table.

Kaidan gestures to Ashley and Garrus who sit across from them. “We were just discussing what foods we missed back on our home planets.”

“Rations got you down, Alenko?” Shepard picks at her chunk of grey block with her fork, chipping away at it bit by bit. 

“Just dreaming of better food, Shepard. Something I won’t break my teeth on.” He stares down at his brick of food in despair, causing a cackle from Ashley. 

“I’ll see if I can’t find us some spice packets next time we dock,” Shepard replies as she scrunches her nose up at her own food, if she could call it that. 

Ashley whistles, stabbing her chunk of food with her fork and lifting it in the air. “Well shit, Commander. If I had known that all it took to get that was LT asking, I would’ve had him do it earlier.” 

Kaidan’s cheeks redden as he averts his eyes away from everyone at the table, when Shepard steps in, glare traveling from a chuckling Garrus to a smirking Gunnery Chief. “You got something to say, spit it out.” 

“Just hoping you bring back spice packets for all of us and not just you and LT, Ma’am.” 

Garrus cuts in. “I’ll take some extra dextro paste, the expensive brand with real flavors.” 

Shepard sighs, giving up on eating and pushing her tray away. “Make a list and send it to my e-mail. No promises but I’ll see what I can do. Might as well let the rest of the crew know, too.” 

Kaidan raises his eyes to give her a gracious smile just as a thought intrudes in her head. This is the moment she realizes she loves him, but the idea itself is an echo in her brain, like a repeat of an episode where she knows what happens next. She can almost pinpoint the words that form on his lips, “You really are amazing, Shepard.” And her heart patters, right on cue, but something strikes her as not right, an itch threatening to break through the surface of her mind.

* * *

She wakes to the sound of explosions, but the Normandy remains steady as muscular arms circle her bare torso in the dark of her cabin. Kaidan’s mouth slacks open as his snores sputter against the pillow where he sleeps. She traces his cheekbones with a delicate touch, sprinkling light kisses along the way. 

Ilos looms over them, over the entire crew, but she remembers this moment as one of perfection. She knows what comes next, the Prothean AI, the rush in the Mako, the portal into the Citadel. What digs in the back of her mind grows as information leaks through, information about the future that she shouldn’t know. Maybe this is a side effect of the Prothean beam, but this feels different than that. Dread pools in her stomach as she looks at Kaidan’s relaxed face, something about him, about them. Something bad. 

* * *

She laughs as juice dribbles down Kaidan’s chin, his eyes closed in orgasmic bliss as he savors that first bite of his bacon burger. “That good, huh?”

She waits for him to finish chewing, taking her own first bite of her steak. He smiles after his swallow, ignoring the mess on his face. “The first burger on shore leave always tastes the best.” He tilts the burger toward her. “Want a bite?”

She shakes her head, chuckling. “I got my own food, thanks.” She flashes him a smile as she watches him take another bite. 

When he spots her, he stops, inclining his head to the side. “Everything okay? You’re not eating.” 

“Just happy to be here, with you, is all.” She takes a sip of her wine. “I finally feel normal again.” 

“This is only the first stop on our tour,” Kaidan grins, shooting her a wink. “Just wait to see what else I have planned.” 

She rolls her eyes as her knee bumps his under the table. “Kaidan, I thought we agreed on a low-key week?” 

He nods. “I know, I know. But I think you’ll like what I have planned. You said you wanted normal, and dates are normal.” 

“You know what else is normal? Going back to the hotel and throwing on pjs.” But her head throbs, and she realized she knows what comes next, how he leads her blindfolded to a lush hotel room with strawberries and champagnes, the ring hidden in the bottom of her glass. The sweet, tender love-making that follows on the floor. She doesn’t know how, but she knows with a certainty what happens for them. 

_ “What…? Kaidan, a ring?” _

_ “I know it hasn’t been long, but I don’t need any more time to know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you, ‘Kota.” _

_ “Are you serious? Kaidan...what?” _

_ “Marry me.”  _

“That’s not a bad idea.” Kaidan’s voice brings her back to the present, to the moment at the table. “I’ll take it under consideration.” 

* * *

“I want to take whatever this is between us, and make it real.” Kaidan’s eyes shine with the reflection of the artificial light of the Citadel as he awaits her answer, trying his best to not appear nervous. Shepard doesn’t remember how she got there, one minute on the SR-1 with Kaidan tucking hair behind her ear as he rises to get dressed, the next sitting at Apollo’s Cafe as Kaidan asks to resume their relationship.

_ When did our relationship end? _

_ When you died. _

_ Which time? _

Shepard stands up from the table, ignoring the hurt and confused look as she stalks away, toward the markets. “Shepard, wait!” Kaidan runs after her, keeping at her heels as he grabs her hand and halts her progress to destination unknown. “Where are you going?”

She ignored him in place of her thoughts. 

_ None of this is real. _

_ How can you tell? _

_ Because this already happened, we were already back together when he...when we… _

_ What happened? _

Kaidan keeps ahold of her hand as the scenery shifts around them, rushing past in a blur until they stand down in the cargo bay, armor materializing over their date clothes. Vega and Cortez wait on the sidelines as she and Kaidan remain locked together in the center, dazed over what they witnessed. 

“Stop making eyes and fight already,” Vega calls, scowling. “I got creds riding on this.”  

Kaidan’s brows furrow as he lets go of her arm. “The fuck? What just happened?”

“I don’t know,” Shepard steps back before making a dash to the elevator. The throbbing in her head returns, increasing until it blocks out all other noise, the feeling of her skull splitting as she tries to gather the shattered pieces inside her brain. She falls to her knees, screaming. 

* * *

When she wakes, her head begins to filter through the clarity she yearned for on the situation.

She stands in the center of her cabin only a second before a knock raps on the door. “Hey Shepard, got a minute?” Kaidan pokes his head in the door, an uneasy smile on his face.

_ What happened?  _

_ There was...an explosion... _

“I think I need to be alone right now.” She lays down on her bed, throwing a pillow over her face as she blocks out the world around her. 

Familiar arms circle her waist as a kiss plants on the back of her neck. “Talk to me, Dakota.” 

_ I don’t know what’s happening to me, but..I don’t think this is real.  _

“I’m not feeling well.” 

Kaidan holds tight to her, resting his forehead on her back. “This might sound crazy, but-” He sucks in a breath as the bed underneath her changes texture. 

When the pillow drops away from her face, they’re laying on the floor of the observatory. Kaidan squeezes her. “Did you-did you see that?” 

She rolls over in his arms, eyes wide with surprise. “You see them, too? The shifts?” 

He nods and whispers, “I thought I was going insane. Dakota, what’s happening to us?”

_ We were running for the beam...and there was an explosion…. _

_ You died.  _

_ And then I.... _

_ The choices. _

_ I chose...to shoot… _

Memories flooded back to her, reliving every second of her existence in one swoop. London. Kaidan and her dirt-smeared final kiss. Kaidan’s death; she didn’t even have time to mourn. Anderson’s death. Then the creepy kid. She watched everything she worked for burn around her before her heart finally stopped. 

The scenery around them changed again, shifting to a grassy field. She and Kaidan rose to their feet, hands locked together as a blue eyed man in a business suit stepped forward. “Greetings, Dakota Shepard and Kaidan Alenko.” 

“Who the fuck are you?” Dakota spat. 

“Wipe your noses, you’re bleeding,” the man materializes tissues out of thin air into his hands before giving them over. Dakota dabs her nose and sure enough, blood appears on the tissue. She crumbles it up in her free hand, but the man waves and it disappears. 

“Thank you,” Kaidan responds. 

The man appears surprised, a small smile of appreciation forming on his lips. “Such manners, unlike your friend here. It’s not unwelcome, even in a place like this.”

“A place like this,” Shepard repeats. “And that means what exactly?” 

The man assesses each of them before continuing. “I’ve never seen two people try so hard to remember. Just can’t let things be, can you?” The man chuckles. “Your reputation certainly precedes the both of you, though I feel this is mostly Shepard’s doing, as is most things.” 

“Who are you?” Kaidan asks, and this time, the man responds.

“I’m an angel, the keeper of the souls here in Heaven.” 

A bitter laugh rises from her throat. Both men turn to look at her. “Heaven? Me? There must be a mix-up in the paperwork.”

The angel shakes his head. “We do not make mistakes. You have sacrificed much, Shepard, and we tried to reward you both with paradise.” 

“Tried?” She says, squeezing tighter on Kaidan’s hand. 

“You’re here less than three months, and both of you already break your paradise. You just couldn’t be happy, could you? We thought by keeping you two together, you might find peace and not pick at the seams, but you couldn’t help yourselves, I suppose.” 

“What does this mean?” Shepard keeps her voice even and unfeeling, unsure of how to proceed with this new information. She isn’t sure whether to fight or to run, what angel protocol tends to be up here. 

The angel brushes at the shoulders of his suit. “You are left with a choice. We can leave you both with complete control of your heaven, allowing you to create your own happiness.  Or we can wipe your memories and reinsert you into your past, where you were before.” 

The pair exchange a glance. “Kaidan?” 

Kaidan brings the back of her hand up to his lips. “I like not having to guess if you’re real or part of the Matrix.” 

“Me too.” They nod in agreement, their decision made. 

The angel nods too. “So it is decided.” He vanishes into thin air, leaving them alone in the open field.

They look to each other. “We can do whatever we want here, have whatever we like.” Shepard’s eyes sparkled as she ran through the many possibilities their afterlife could hold. 

“What should we do first?” Kaidan smiles, the same thoughts running through his mind.

Shepard moves to lay down in the field, Kaidan with her. She curls into his side as the sky above shifts from midday to night, stars sparkling over their heads. 

“I think...I just want to lay here with you for awhile.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Title and idea taken from a Supernatural episode of the same title. I've had this idea for awhile, and finding a shenko shipper with a love for Supernatural sealed that deal. I kinda wanted to make Cas the angel, but it's more left up to interpretation. 
> 
> Summary taken from Pink Floyd's Brain Damage song on their Dark Side of the Moon album.


End file.
